here is a video of my fish + the 10 new shrimp i got yesterday! some of them are big, and a little weird ... but that's my apology for my slight rant that comes next
i know everybody says don't trust any thoughts you have after 9PM, but its 10AM andd im feeling this way... recently, it's been so hard for me to focus, and i don't know why. studying has proven to be so difficult for me. it takes me hours just to bring myself to do so, and i rarely get anything done or learn anything when i am trying... its like, with chemistry... i understand the concepts, but if im going to put into a test room, im going to forget everything, because my understanding of the concepts doesn't come to me without a guide. i keep telling myself it'll be okay... in my first exam, i actually failed and got a 46. but my grade is A- ＼(；￢_￢) i can't say the same for humanities. this is my first A in the class and i know without preperation its going to be taken from me. but i feel helpless... like i can't even do anything about it-- can't bring myself to do it.
i guess im writing this not only to air my thoughts but also to find a solution. i mean... i am an academic! i love learning. im an honors student, i have good grades... i don't know why i feel this way. oh my god especially with minecraft .. i keep playing and i think that maybe the more i play the more i can drive it out of my system. but alas i average an hour and a half per day i can't stand it. i used to feel this way with my website-- i couldn't do anything except for coding my site. late at night, when im school, etc... ☹️ why don't i have control over how i feel? idk.. its crazy how nobody will think its a problem until it truly starts to harm me. my grades aren't bad now, but who knows..
i guess that's my update for now. i don't have much to add... in minecraft i've been mostly exploring. my server allows us to craft an elytra, so i finally got a block of netherite to do so ⊂(◉‿◉)つ next i want to try and go to the end. i need end rods for a building project... besides minecraft, im going to seattle in 2 weeks. ive never been to the west coast before and im kinda tired of the airplane hussle but womp womp womp. i guess that'll be my next entry, ngl im thinking of making a travel page for my site ... that would be quite cool.
i can't stand it. i used to feel this way with my website-- i couldn't do anything except for coding my site. late at night, when im school, etc... ☹️ why don't i have control over how i feel? idk.. its crazy how nobody will think its a problem until it truly starts to harm me. my grades aren't bad now, but who knows..